Earlier this week I read an article about a Canadian teenage girl who was in trouble for her dress code violation. In response to that, she had posted signs all over the school telling teachers to teach boys that girls are not sexual objects instead of shaming girls. People are declaring her a hero and praising her message.
That response to this young lady's misguided thinking greatly disturbs me, but it doesn't shock me. We now live in a society where women and young girls think it's perfectly acceptable to leave home barely dressed, and expect men to treat them with respect. I'll stop and say here, that it's true, boys and men should be taught that females are not sexual objects. However, when a young lady or woman dresses as if she is one, why is she surprised if men respond to that? My answer may surprise you...
I don't entirely blame the young girls or women of our generation. And here's why. We have failed this generation (and the one before that, and the one before that...).
There's a lot of things that factor into what has caused this tragedy in our society, but one of the main problems is that parents have failed their children. Women have failed to model for their daughters what it is to have respect for one's self as a lady. Men have failed to model for their daughters how a man should treat a real lady.
As Father's Day nears, I would especially point out that a father's influence in the life of his daughter is crucial. A daughter needs a father to be the standard against which she will judge all men. Yet we have a generation of fatherless girls (and boys). A child's father doesn't have to be dead in order for her to be fatherless. He simply has to be absent. He either abandoned his daughter by leaving her physically, or he may be in her life but emotionally not present.
This creates a dilemma for a girl entering womanhood. Daddy isn't giving her the love and attention that she needs, deserves, and craves. As a result she seeks male attention in improper ways. She wants attention, and though she may not fully understand, she does know that she can get male attention by dressing in certain ways. What she fails to understand is that a real man admires a lady; he does not use her as the object she is presenting herself as.
She has no father in her life to tell her she's worth more than that. She has no father to treat her with love and respect so that she saves herself for a man who will treat her in similar fashion.
She also has no mother to model for her how a lady should dress, speak, carry herself, and interact with men; because her own mother is acting the very same way, and setting the example for her daughter.
By the way, this isn't just a problem in the secular world, but it's a problem in our churches. I know, because I've visited many churches over the years and in some good, solid, Bible preaching churches I've seen young ladies who come in "half dressed." I don't mean visitors who are unchurched; I mean girls raised in Christian School, in Christian homes, who know better. Or do they?
You see, I believe the same concept of fatherless girls and mothers who give poor examples is more prevalent in our churches than we care to admit. I know there are some examples of parents who did everything the could to raise their children right, and still the kids rebelled, BUT there is also an element of broken families in churches that is disturbing as well.
Whether affected by divorce, or simply that the family unit is dysfunctional for some reason, (by that I mean there is a family where parents are together but their homelife is unstable) we are seeing some of the same problems from our church-going teen girls and young women. She has a Daddy in the home, but dad is too busy for whatever reason to meet his little girl's needs for love and to show her by example how men should treat her. She has a Mama in the home, but mama herself seems to be in competition with her teen daughter in how she dresses, and insists on being her daughter's "friend."
Our girls have no one to teach them that there is a difference between virginity and purity. She can act/dress/talk/carry herself in a way that is impure without actually losing her virginity, but both are gifts from God that young women should treasure and protect.
Our girls have no one to teach them that they are beautiful, so they desperately act out for attention from anyone who will fill that void for them.
Our girls have no one to teach them that they have value, so they give themselves away to any and everyone who pays them attention. They give their bodies away whether by dressing immodestly or by actually committing fornication.
Yes, hold the girls accountable. Yes, they know deep down what they're doing is wrong, especially the girls brought up in church. Yes, teach them that what they are doing is sin (because it is).
But also realize a good portion of the blame for the society we live in and the culture of indecency that is being shoved down our throats needs to be placed at the feet of the people who have failed these girls (and boys, but that's a another subject entirely).
Hollywood and pop culture pushes the limits and sets a false standard for this generation's girls. The feminist movement, that is still going strong all these years later, is setting a false standard for this generation's girls. Magazines put forth a false standard of beauty for this generation's girls. And their own parents are setting for them a false standard of what they're worth and how they should carry themselves.
The difference in boy and girl is determined at conception. The difference in girl and woman is determined by age. But the difference between woman and lady is determined by choice. The difference between woman and lady is also determined by the role model (her mother and father) in the young woman's life.
It is my hope that this generation of young ladies will rebel. I hope they rebel against Hollywood. I hope they rebel against the feminist movement that is trying to sell them false goods. And I hope they rebel against the example their parents have modeled for them. I hope they rebel against the devil's plans for their lives and turn to Christ, who will give them the love and attention they are so desperately crying out for by their actions.
As I close this, I want to say, I'm so thankful for the Godly parents out there who ARE teaching their sons and daughters correctly; who ARE setting the right example, who ARE meeting the needs of their daughters for love and attention so that they don't want to seek it in improper ways. Praise God for those who realize the importance of raising their daughters to be different and to value themselves in the face of a culture that tells them otherwise.
On a personal note, I am so glad I had a Granddaddy and a Daddy who set an example for me of what I should expect from a man, of how I should carry myself as a lady. I know because of their love and leadership that I was blessed growing up, but my heart breaks for the girls coming up now.
May we ladies step in for some of these girls, as Titus two instructs, and teach these girls by words and actions what it truly means to be a lady.
That response to this young lady's misguided thinking greatly disturbs me, but it doesn't shock me. We now live in a society where women and young girls think it's perfectly acceptable to leave home barely dressed, and expect men to treat them with respect. I'll stop and say here, that it's true, boys and men should be taught that females are not sexual objects. However, when a young lady or woman dresses as if she is one, why is she surprised if men respond to that? My answer may surprise you...
I don't entirely blame the young girls or women of our generation. And here's why. We have failed this generation (and the one before that, and the one before that...).
There's a lot of things that factor into what has caused this tragedy in our society, but one of the main problems is that parents have failed their children. Women have failed to model for their daughters what it is to have respect for one's self as a lady. Men have failed to model for their daughters how a man should treat a real lady.
As Father's Day nears, I would especially point out that a father's influence in the life of his daughter is crucial. A daughter needs a father to be the standard against which she will judge all men. Yet we have a generation of fatherless girls (and boys). A child's father doesn't have to be dead in order for her to be fatherless. He simply has to be absent. He either abandoned his daughter by leaving her physically, or he may be in her life but emotionally not present.
This creates a dilemma for a girl entering womanhood. Daddy isn't giving her the love and attention that she needs, deserves, and craves. As a result she seeks male attention in improper ways. She wants attention, and though she may not fully understand, she does know that she can get male attention by dressing in certain ways. What she fails to understand is that a real man admires a lady; he does not use her as the object she is presenting herself as.
She has no father in her life to tell her she's worth more than that. She has no father to treat her with love and respect so that she saves herself for a man who will treat her in similar fashion.
She also has no mother to model for her how a lady should dress, speak, carry herself, and interact with men; because her own mother is acting the very same way, and setting the example for her daughter.
By the way, this isn't just a problem in the secular world, but it's a problem in our churches. I know, because I've visited many churches over the years and in some good, solid, Bible preaching churches I've seen young ladies who come in "half dressed." I don't mean visitors who are unchurched; I mean girls raised in Christian School, in Christian homes, who know better. Or do they?
You see, I believe the same concept of fatherless girls and mothers who give poor examples is more prevalent in our churches than we care to admit. I know there are some examples of parents who did everything the could to raise their children right, and still the kids rebelled, BUT there is also an element of broken families in churches that is disturbing as well.
Whether affected by divorce, or simply that the family unit is dysfunctional for some reason, (by that I mean there is a family where parents are together but their homelife is unstable) we are seeing some of the same problems from our church-going teen girls and young women. She has a Daddy in the home, but dad is too busy for whatever reason to meet his little girl's needs for love and to show her by example how men should treat her. She has a Mama in the home, but mama herself seems to be in competition with her teen daughter in how she dresses, and insists on being her daughter's "friend."
Our girls have no one to teach them that there is a difference between virginity and purity. She can act/dress/talk/carry herself in a way that is impure without actually losing her virginity, but both are gifts from God that young women should treasure and protect.
Our girls have no one to teach them that they are beautiful, so they desperately act out for attention from anyone who will fill that void for them.
Our girls have no one to teach them that they have value, so they give themselves away to any and everyone who pays them attention. They give their bodies away whether by dressing immodestly or by actually committing fornication.
Yes, hold the girls accountable. Yes, they know deep down what they're doing is wrong, especially the girls brought up in church. Yes, teach them that what they are doing is sin (because it is).
But also realize a good portion of the blame for the society we live in and the culture of indecency that is being shoved down our throats needs to be placed at the feet of the people who have failed these girls (and boys, but that's a another subject entirely).
Hollywood and pop culture pushes the limits and sets a false standard for this generation's girls. The feminist movement, that is still going strong all these years later, is setting a false standard for this generation's girls. Magazines put forth a false standard of beauty for this generation's girls. And their own parents are setting for them a false standard of what they're worth and how they should carry themselves.
The difference in boy and girl is determined at conception. The difference in girl and woman is determined by age. But the difference between woman and lady is determined by choice. The difference between woman and lady is also determined by the role model (her mother and father) in the young woman's life.
It is my hope that this generation of young ladies will rebel. I hope they rebel against Hollywood. I hope they rebel against the feminist movement that is trying to sell them false goods. And I hope they rebel against the example their parents have modeled for them. I hope they rebel against the devil's plans for their lives and turn to Christ, who will give them the love and attention they are so desperately crying out for by their actions.
As I close this, I want to say, I'm so thankful for the Godly parents out there who ARE teaching their sons and daughters correctly; who ARE setting the right example, who ARE meeting the needs of their daughters for love and attention so that they don't want to seek it in improper ways. Praise God for those who realize the importance of raising their daughters to be different and to value themselves in the face of a culture that tells them otherwise.
On a personal note, I am so glad I had a Granddaddy and a Daddy who set an example for me of what I should expect from a man, of how I should carry myself as a lady. I know because of their love and leadership that I was blessed growing up, but my heart breaks for the girls coming up now.
May we ladies step in for some of these girls, as Titus two instructs, and teach these girls by words and actions what it truly means to be a lady.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. ~Titus 2:3-5
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