It's been on my mind for some time, but today I read a blog post that reminded me again of the importance of modesty among ladies. (I'll link the article below for any who are interested.) I'm aware that I'm writing about a very touchy subject in our churches. I understand that as a lady, it may feel awkward at times to hear the subject expounded from a pulpit by a man and in mixed company. We ladies can have a tendency to respond in a knee-jerk reaction to the subject.
So I want to address the subject of modesty as fellow sister in Christ, and it's my prayer that I can communicate my perspective with a heart of love for my sisters in Christ, as well as my brothers in Christ who I believe truly have a desire to walk before the Lord with pure minds. I'll share four reasons that I believe being modest is important and Biblical. However, I don't intend to use the verses traditionally used to present the subject.
I'll also say upfront, I was not raised in a dresses/skirts only home. I was a lost church member and when I became a Christian it took two years of the Lord gently dealing with my heart to bring me to the place that I was willing to dress differently than the world around me. I also don't do it to please a preacher, or a church, or a camp of people in our Independent Baptist movement. I don't believe I'm any godlier or better than anyone else. I know my frame: that I am wicked sinner saved by God's grace. I still sin, I'm not perfect, and I have plenty of space to grow in this area as well as many others. I'm not a legalist: by that I mean, I don't believe you have to dress modestly to go to Heaven. Women who wear skirts to their ankles go to the same hell that the vilest sinners go to if they die without Christ. I also don't harp on this subject and I address it knowing it is a sensitive topic for ladies and men alike. That is why I want to handle it carefully and respectfully. I hope you'll read this with an open mind. I hope you'll read this knowing that as a lady, as a fellow sister in Christ, I "get it." And if you're a gentleman reading here, please know that though I write for ladies, that I'm on your side too. That's part of why I'm writing this in the first place.
1. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor the Lord.
The Bible says in I John 2:3, "And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments." The Bible also says in I Timothy 2:9, " In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel..." If we love the Lord we will desire to please HIM above all others. What we think, feel, like, or prefer is not important or relevant if it is contrary to what God wants for us. If our hearts are right (by the way, it IS a heart issue) we will seek to honor, respect, and love the Lord by obedience in ALL areas of our lives, including how we dress. As daughters of the King of Kings, we should seek to honor our Father and represent Him in a way that brings glory to Him. We do after all, represent him.
Concerning modesty, He commands we do it. He doesn't request it or suggest it, He gives a clear Scriptural command to be modest in our apparel (what we wear). I also have three more reasons to share, but in reality, the first one is all the reason we need. If our hearts are sensitive to the Lord we will be receptive to His commands even if they are not what we'd like to hear.
I remember when God was dealing with me about how I was dressing outside of church. I cried out in prayer, "People will think I've lost my mind! They won't understand. They'll talk about me, laugh at me, mock me. It will be really hard." Yet over and over the words from Acts, "We ought to obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29) would come to mind. I had to choose what was more important: pleasing people and fitting in with what was accepted, or pleasing God. I say that in order to share that I really do know it can be a hard choice to make for a lady who was not raised to dress different than the world. But honoring God is far better than fitting in and going along with what is accepted.
2. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor ourselves as ladies.
Yes, I really just said that! Ladies, we should respect ourselves! You're not cheap! You were bought and paid for with the blood of CHRIST! You are priceless! Doesn't that bless your heart to know? So don't advertise your body as if you are cheap. You're not! You are precious in God's sight and worth so much more! You are a daughter of the KING! you are royalty in God's eyes, so there's no need to dress like pauper when you are a princess.
You may not feel like a princess. I understand that feeling. We live in a world where "sex sells" and there is pressure even in church to look a certain way. Sometimes it can seem that dressing modestly means we're overlooked when compared to those who push the envelope in what they wear and how they present themselves. But guess what? God views you differently. The Bible says in Psalm 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." This means God made you exactly as He wanted you to be. His Word says that what He did was "marvellous." And you're soul needs to know that "right well." In other words, we need to be secure in that knowledge.
So because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, because you are so priceless that He bought you with His very blood, respect yourself enough to present yourself with dignity and respect. Some people confuse modesty with frumpiness. Far from it, sister! You don't have to dress like you're auditioning for a part on "Little House on the Prairie." You don't have to wear the colors and styles of the Old Order Amish or Quakers. Modesty is not about being out of date or making yourself look ugly. You can buy new clothes that are modest. You can look fashionable, nice, appropriate, beautiful, colorful, and feminine. you can present yourself in such a way that says, "I didn't crawl out of a time-warp from 1860. I am a beautiful, priceless daughter of God and confident in my standing in Christ."
By the way, respect the fact that as a lady God did in fact make you to be feminine. He made you as a woman, not a man. He did not make a mistake. Embrace that. Feminism has tried to take away who we are as ladies. They've told us to work like men, dress like men, demand the rights of men. But it hurts us because we were never created to be men. God made us as He saw fit and there is peace in accepting what God wills.
3. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor our husbands.
We should desire to honor and respect our husbands in how we dress because God intended our bodies to be for his eyes only and in the context of marriage. However; in public we need to keep ourselves modest to respect him. Prove to him that his attention is enough, and that you don't need to seek out the attention of other men. Keep yourself for your husband. Protect what is his. The Bible teaches in Ephesians 5:33, "and the wife see that she reverence her husband." If you have to "see" to something that usually implies you have to put some effort into it. Part of reverencing him includes making him secure in the knowledge that he and his attention alone is enough for you. You can do this in one way by dressing modestly.
So I want to address the subject of modesty as fellow sister in Christ, and it's my prayer that I can communicate my perspective with a heart of love for my sisters in Christ, as well as my brothers in Christ who I believe truly have a desire to walk before the Lord with pure minds. I'll share four reasons that I believe being modest is important and Biblical. However, I don't intend to use the verses traditionally used to present the subject.
I'll also say upfront, I was not raised in a dresses/skirts only home. I was a lost church member and when I became a Christian it took two years of the Lord gently dealing with my heart to bring me to the place that I was willing to dress differently than the world around me. I also don't do it to please a preacher, or a church, or a camp of people in our Independent Baptist movement. I don't believe I'm any godlier or better than anyone else. I know my frame: that I am wicked sinner saved by God's grace. I still sin, I'm not perfect, and I have plenty of space to grow in this area as well as many others. I'm not a legalist: by that I mean, I don't believe you have to dress modestly to go to Heaven. Women who wear skirts to their ankles go to the same hell that the vilest sinners go to if they die without Christ. I also don't harp on this subject and I address it knowing it is a sensitive topic for ladies and men alike. That is why I want to handle it carefully and respectfully. I hope you'll read this with an open mind. I hope you'll read this knowing that as a lady, as a fellow sister in Christ, I "get it." And if you're a gentleman reading here, please know that though I write for ladies, that I'm on your side too. That's part of why I'm writing this in the first place.
1. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor the Lord.
The Bible says in I John 2:3, "And hereby we do know that we know him, if we keep his commandments." The Bible also says in I Timothy 2:9, " In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel..." If we love the Lord we will desire to please HIM above all others. What we think, feel, like, or prefer is not important or relevant if it is contrary to what God wants for us. If our hearts are right (by the way, it IS a heart issue) we will seek to honor, respect, and love the Lord by obedience in ALL areas of our lives, including how we dress. As daughters of the King of Kings, we should seek to honor our Father and represent Him in a way that brings glory to Him. We do after all, represent him.
Concerning modesty, He commands we do it. He doesn't request it or suggest it, He gives a clear Scriptural command to be modest in our apparel (what we wear). I also have three more reasons to share, but in reality, the first one is all the reason we need. If our hearts are sensitive to the Lord we will be receptive to His commands even if they are not what we'd like to hear.
I remember when God was dealing with me about how I was dressing outside of church. I cried out in prayer, "People will think I've lost my mind! They won't understand. They'll talk about me, laugh at me, mock me. It will be really hard." Yet over and over the words from Acts, "We ought to obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29) would come to mind. I had to choose what was more important: pleasing people and fitting in with what was accepted, or pleasing God. I say that in order to share that I really do know it can be a hard choice to make for a lady who was not raised to dress different than the world. But honoring God is far better than fitting in and going along with what is accepted.
2. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor ourselves as ladies.
Yes, I really just said that! Ladies, we should respect ourselves! You're not cheap! You were bought and paid for with the blood of CHRIST! You are priceless! Doesn't that bless your heart to know? So don't advertise your body as if you are cheap. You're not! You are precious in God's sight and worth so much more! You are a daughter of the KING! you are royalty in God's eyes, so there's no need to dress like pauper when you are a princess.
You may not feel like a princess. I understand that feeling. We live in a world where "sex sells" and there is pressure even in church to look a certain way. Sometimes it can seem that dressing modestly means we're overlooked when compared to those who push the envelope in what they wear and how they present themselves. But guess what? God views you differently. The Bible says in Psalm 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." This means God made you exactly as He wanted you to be. His Word says that what He did was "marvellous." And you're soul needs to know that "right well." In other words, we need to be secure in that knowledge.
So because you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, because you are so priceless that He bought you with His very blood, respect yourself enough to present yourself with dignity and respect. Some people confuse modesty with frumpiness. Far from it, sister! You don't have to dress like you're auditioning for a part on "Little House on the Prairie." You don't have to wear the colors and styles of the Old Order Amish or Quakers. Modesty is not about being out of date or making yourself look ugly. You can buy new clothes that are modest. You can look fashionable, nice, appropriate, beautiful, colorful, and feminine. you can present yourself in such a way that says, "I didn't crawl out of a time-warp from 1860. I am a beautiful, priceless daughter of God and confident in my standing in Christ."
By the way, respect the fact that as a lady God did in fact make you to be feminine. He made you as a woman, not a man. He did not make a mistake. Embrace that. Feminism has tried to take away who we are as ladies. They've told us to work like men, dress like men, demand the rights of men. But it hurts us because we were never created to be men. God made us as He saw fit and there is peace in accepting what God wills.
3. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor our husbands.
We should desire to honor and respect our husbands in how we dress because God intended our bodies to be for his eyes only and in the context of marriage. However; in public we need to keep ourselves modest to respect him. Prove to him that his attention is enough, and that you don't need to seek out the attention of other men. Keep yourself for your husband. Protect what is his. The Bible teaches in Ephesians 5:33, "and the wife see that she reverence her husband." If you have to "see" to something that usually implies you have to put some effort into it. Part of reverencing him includes making him secure in the knowledge that he and his attention alone is enough for you. You can do this in one way by dressing modestly.
What if you aren't married? This still applies. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:10-12, "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life."
Did you notice one tiny word at the end? "ALL." She will do him good ALL the days of her life. Not when she meets him. Not after she marries him, but ALL the days of her life. You may not be married yet, but chances are you will be. Purpose in your heart now to honor him in how you live your life, even in your manner of dress. That way, when he meets you, he can be secure in the knowledge that you intend to do him good. Show your future husband even now that his reputation is so important to you and honoring God's Word means so much to you that you are willing to honor him even before you ever meet him.
What if you will not be married? It's true that some people never marry, but this point still applies, because regardless of whether or not you marry in this life, if you are a Christian you are part of the bride of Christ. Honor your Heavenly bridegroom. Do Him good all the days of your life.
By the way, remember where I mentioned above sometimes a woman can feel overlooked when compared to immodestly dressed women? A truly godly man is not looking for an immodestly dressed woman. He's looking for someone who values herself, her Saviour, and her future husband enough to cover up. Seriously! You'll attract the right kind of man with the right kind of dress (and attitude, and actions, and testimony...).
4. Modesty is important because we should desire to honor our brothers in Christ.
Have you ever wondered why some men really hammer modest dress from the pulpit? I'm sure there are many reasons, but I'd like to give the benefit of the doubt here and assume these men are motivated for right reasons. As men, they understand in a very literal way what a battle it is to keep themselves pure in the world we live in. I believe they wished we better understood this, and perhaps this is why some mention it so often.
God made men to be visual. Don't get mad and blame the men. It's how GOD made them, and as I shared above, Scripture says that how God makes us is fearful and wonderful and it's a marvellous thing. Because women for the majority are not visual in this way, it's sometimes hard for us to understand. Some women say, "They ought to control themselves better and then how we dress wouldn't be a problem."
It's not that simple. Yes, men are responsible to God to keep their minds pure. However, they also live in a world that is a visual mind-field. As a lady, even I am aware of the way women in the world dress in less clothing than their underwear just to go out in public. I see the magazine racks in nearly every store. I see the billboards as I drive on the interstate. I'm not even visual or wired like they are, and I can see there are snares of the devil around every single corner. Literally. My heart breaks for our brothers in Christ. This world is not an easy place for them. It's becoming harder and harder for them to keep their minds pure as this world's fashion industry pushes more risque clothing each year, though they desire to do so. They really do. Why? To honor the Lord...and to honor YOU. They desire to view you as sisters in Christ and in purity. How you present yourself to them can help that process or make it harder.
We can help. We can at least do our part to make sure church is a safe place for them visually. We can make the effort to dress and interact with them in such a way that they feel safe around us and better able to honor us in how they view us.
Why should we? Because the Bible says in Romans 12:10, "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;"
You see, they're our brothers. And in a family, you look out for each other. You love one another. You seek to honor one another. You fight for one another if need be. And there is a fight being waged against them by the devil and his demons. They'll use anything they can to hinder good and godly men. As their sisters, let's do our part to help them in this fight.
May we seek to honor first and foremost the Lord in all things, even in modest dress. May we glorify Him! And in the process we can also honor ourselves and others. What could be better than that?
The link I mentioned earlier: http://phyliciadelta.com/to-the-girls-in-the-pew-ahead-of-me/
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